Posted by admin at Aug 20th, 2007 in Funny Tag Lines
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If you try and don’t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.
Birthdays are good for you – the more you have the longer you live.
Accidents don’t just happen. They must be carelessly planned.
Perseverance is not a long race. It is many short races one after another.
Some goals are so worthy, it’s glorious even to fail.
Some succeed because they are destined to. But most succeed because they are determined to.
If money could talk, it would say: goodbye.
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Posted by admin at Aug 26th, 2007 in Funny Tag Lines
Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water has on thirst.
Save Water – Take a bath with your neighbor’s daughter
Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are ok, you’re it.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.
Tears will get you sympathy. Sweat will get you results.
The act of giving is more important than the merit of the receiver.
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
The only place you can win a football game is on the field. The only place you can lose it is in your head.
Quit smoking on the anniversary of your birth, not the day of your death. – Corky Peterson
If you can’t beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
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Posted by admin at Aug 28th, 2007 in Funny Tag Lines
He who laughs, lasts.
It is better to keep your mouth shut, and look like a fool, than to open your mouth, and remove all doubt.
Today is tomorrow’s yesterday. If you are longing for the ‘good old days’, you’re there pal.
Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
At the end of your rope? Tie and knot and SWING!
This is as bad as it can get, but don’t bet on it.
A halo has to fall only a few inches to become a noose. – Farmers Almanac
The cigarette does the smoking, you’re just the sucker.
Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level.
Posted by admin at Aug 30th, 2007 in Funny Tag Lines
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength. – Corrie TenBoom
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. – Ambrose Bierce
Live life to the fullest… think of all the people on the Titanic who passed up chocolate dessert.
If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes.
You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
If you see a snake, just kill it. Don’t appoint a committee on snakes. – H. Ross Perot
If you aren’t making waves, you ain’t kickin’ hard enough!
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Drink varnish and you’ll get a lovely finish.
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Posted by admin at Aug 24th, 2007 in Funny Tag Lines
If nobody knows the troubles you’ve seen, then you don’t live in a small town.
If the human brain was simple enough for us to understand we’d be so simple we couldn’t understand.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
Never ask the barber if you need a haircut or a salesman if his is a good price.
Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.
Never say ‘OOPS!’ always say ‘Ah, Interesting!’
Never, ever make absolute, unconditional statements.
Pain and Suffering is inevitable but Misery is optional.
Plan ahead: It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark!
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Posted by Irma Villarreal at Dec 6th, 2011 in Funny Sites
Hilarious short stories are great to have around when you are hanging out with friends and you have ran out of topics to talk about it. You can use this as an ice breaker when you will go to a party or you want to make new friends. This can be handy after having a fine meal with a family and you just want to make them laugh.
Funny stories can come in different forms. This can be something that you or other people have experienced or you have probably read it while you are browsing the internet. Some are even creative enough to make something up.
Sharing something hilarious is not as easy as you think it is because some people may not be able to connect with what you are saying. If you want it to work, you have to keep it simple and short. Making it too long or complicated can be confusing to the listeners and will just be boring instead of entertaining.
Posted by Rohini Chawla at Dec 1st, 2011 in Jokes
There is no doubt the truth that wit & humor are as crucial in our daily lives as a refreshing breath of air. We all wait for moments of pleasure & laughter& their existence in fact can make existence a stunning knowledge really worth living.
From the trivial routines marked and characterized by excellent humor to the extravagantly humorous remarks that we so frequently encounter in our daily daily life, laughter is indeed a significantly craved from of joyous expression & there is no greater or more rapidly way to provoke & make laughter between men and women than by listening to or looking at funny jokes.
If you are 1 individuals folks who seem for your every day humorous line in the newspaper initial thing in the early morning then you may be delighted to uncover out that the planet wide net is a single platform that is complete of free of charge amusing jokes & liners to place the pleasure back into your active and frantic schedules.
Posted by Patricia Yang at Nov 29th, 2011 in Funny Sites
Electronic communication choices are very important today. Gone are the days of face to face communication for many or even verbal communication. More people are using emails and texting to communicate today than ever before. As a result, you will find many different types of funny text messages will find their way to your phone.
As the technology has improved and new acronyms have been created, there is almost a totally different language used in these messages. You are not required to spell out words or even use real words at all. Short cuts and abbreviations provide a quick and easy way to get the information to the recipient quickly.
There are many different types of things that you might receive this way. Amusing pictures and quotes as well as things that are just plain laughable are transmitted through the SMS option on cell phones today. It is common that anyone who receives a cute message will forward it to friends immediately, regardless of where they might be.
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Learn How To Read And Understand Funny Text Messages
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Posted by Harold Cann at Nov 26th, 2011 in Funny Sites
I am a super proponent of the legalization and the decriminalization of the cannabis plant in my home state. I work day in and day out organizing efforts, writing emails, and maintaining a website dedicated to political efforts towards legalization. What really confuses both my friends and my political enemies, is that I go to great pains to keep my appearance that of your standard, couch-surfing pot smoker…even though I refuse to use cannabis until it is finally legal. I have the dreadlocks, funny weed t-shirts, and everything.
Some people may think that the act of wearing funny weed t-shirts in my daily life may degrade the impact of my efforts to have cannabis use decriminalized in my state. They ask me, “If you don’t smoke pot to increase the impact of your legislative efforts, why then do you assume the image of a pothead by wearing those shirts?”
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How To Use Funny Weed T-Shirts As A Tool For Legalization
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Posted by Denise Smith at Nov 25th, 2011 in Funny Sites
My dear husband and kids were placed on this earth to eternally make me feel guilty for sticking to a schedule, wearing nice clothes, and consistently shooting down inane ideas for family fun. I’m sorry if I’m not interested in building snow forts and having giant snowball fights that involve the whole neighborhood…and probably pneumonia. Nothing I do is for the sake of being cruel, it’s for the sake of practicality. It was that practicality that finally made me change my mind about the funny Christmas t-shirts.
What was so surprising is that they tried to sneak these shirts in like little soviet spies during the 50′s. In retrospect, I have to believe that my husband was somehow involved in this grand scheme to wear funny Christmas t-shirts to our family dinner. Perhaps the very act of doing it is the only way that it was an executable plan, because they had to know that I would deny them.
Posted by Nicole Smith at Nov 24th, 2011 in Funny Sites
I absolutely love getting a little naughty during Christmas. That’s why I make it a point to either throw a Dirty Santa party each year, or to at least attend one. Dirty Santa parties are so much fun! It’s the one occasion during the holidays that I feel is dedicated to us grown ups and not the little ankle biters that are running around. Look, I may have children one day and my attitude about the whole thing may change drastically at that point, but as of right now…I just want to wear some cool Christmas t-shirts and get drunk with my good friends.
While we’re on the topic of cool Christmas t-shirts, have a listen to the craziness that I successfully pulled off during last year’s Dirty Santa party that my friend Carla threw. It was an evening of excess right off the start. We had drinks, we had laughs, and I think someone took off their underpants. I did wear a shirt that said “Lap Elf Looking For A Lap” that people liked a lot…and would like a whole lot more once they saw my Dirty Santa present.
Posted by Barry Rose at Nov 22nd, 2011 in Funny Sites
I guess in retrospect, growing up in the south is a whole lot different than growing up anywhere else in the United States of America. I’m not saying I wish things were different, but if the South had won the war and become it’s out country it would not have been all that weird. The south is like a different planet when you go live anywhere else in the country. Wearing deer hunting t-shirts, cooking squirrel stew, frog gigging, and riding four wheelers would make me a social pariah where I live now.
When you grow up in the south, you get used to seeing stuff like that. Nearly everyone I know wears deer hunting t-shirts at least once a week. I loved living in Tennessee, and I wish I never had to move out here to crazy land. When you get a great job offer and have a family that’s counting on you, then sometimes you have to just pack up your life and take it out to California to teach those city boys how you properly work an oil field.
Posted by Proctor Silex at Nov 21st, 2011 in Funny Sites
It’s like a flashback to the 70s when you think about the Harvest Gold and Avocado Green appliances in our mom or grandmother’s kitchen. And for most, the satisfaction with the color wore out long before the appliances needed to be replaced.
Color was first introduced in appliances around 1950 when International Harvester and Caloric offered different color options on the handles of ranges and refrigerators. Later in 1953 Frigidaire introduced appliances in the bold colors of Stratford Yellow or Sherwood green, as well as continuing to offer basic white.
Two years later GE followed suit offering Woodtone Brown, Turquoise Green, Cadet Blue, Petal Pink and Canary Yellow. Soon Frigidaire added Mayfair Pink.
The color trends continued, but the majority of those colors were eliminated around 1960. Turquoise, pink and yellow were still offered.
Posted by Christine Wolf at Nov 20th, 2011 in Jokes
Humor is the tendency of particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement. Humor is the quality of the imagination which gives to ideas an incongruous or fantastic turn, and tends to excite laughter or mirth by ludicrous images or representations. The term Humour is originated from the humoral medicine of the Ancient Greeks which means, the balance of Fluids in the human body, known as humourous. People of all ages and cultures respond to humour. The majority of people are able to experience humour, i.e. to be amused, to laugh or smile at something funny, and from that we can assume that they have a Sense of Humor.
Posted by Aaron Mills at Nov 19th, 2011 in Funny Sites
Online marketing isn’t really about finding the best advertisers and paying them money to sell your product for you. If you are doing that, then you’re lazy and you’re throwing handfuls of cash away that you could be counting toward your profit margin. Marketing on the Internet is really just about two things these days: ranking high in the search engines and appealing to your target demographic. If you can manage to do these two things, you will definitely make money. Merely for the sake of an example, here’s what I did recently to get a few websites ready to sell funny Christmas t-shirts this holiday shopping season.
The first task is to either redesign, or create a website that is going to appeal to your target audience. To sell funny Christmas t-shirts, we needed to make our web-pages look whimsical and joyful. People shopping for holiday items are attracted to bright colors, especially reds and greens. Knowing this, we used very cartoonish images that would catch the eye of our customer and to make them scroll down to see more.
Posted by Ginger Clemons at Nov 18th, 2011 in Funny Sites
People always want to find ways on how they can get rid of the stress that they have managed to collect the whole day. And considering how laughter is regarded by many as the perfect cure, then one can easily achieve this by coming to a comedy club Los Angeles.
There are now quite a number of establishments around the area that are poised towards providing the general public with a different type of entertainment- one where people do not only get to spend the night way relaxing, but spending the evening with hearty laughter at the same time.
Though the usual nightly activities like clubbing, dancing and drinking the night away are still pretty popular, more and more people have found it quite more appealing if they will indulge in activities where they end up laughing out loud for a change.
Posted by Francis York at Nov 17th, 2011 in Funny Sites
Christmas is getting way too stuffy at my house. What I mean by that, is that my extended family thinks that is reflects their personal wealth and station in the world if they come to my house for Christmas dinner in their Sunday best. This isn’t church, though. It’s just a house and we’re trying to enjoy each other’s company here, and no one here cares how much money anyone else makes. I had an uncle actually show up for dinner in an Armani suit. No joke. I’m going to put things in perspective this year with some funny Christmas t-shirts.
The plan is to buy a whole bunch of funny Christmas t-shirts for everyone who we expect to come over for Christmas Day dinner. We’re going to wrap them as presents and stack them next to the front door with everyone’s name on them. As they come in, they get their gift immediately. They open it, and then they have a quick laugh at whatever ridiculous shirt I have picked out for them. Then the hammer falls, and I tell them that this year you have to go to the bedroom or bathroom and put it on. No questions asked.
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Surprising My Family With Some Funny Christmas T-Shirts
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Posted by William Bendis at Nov 14th, 2011 in Funny Sites
Every Christmas in years past has been very close to a nightmare for me. I’m so strung out by the end of the day that I’m visibly shaking and I have to go into a dark room by myself, breathe, and force myself to be calm. I don’t have a particularly mean-spirited or selfish family, either. The problem is all in my head. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and it can be a real pain when things don’t go exactly according to plan. My therapist said I should do small things that I can control completely when things get hectic, so this year I plan on controlling what funny Christmas t-shirts I’m wearing.
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Funny Christmas T-Shirts Are The Key To Christmas Survival
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Posted by Barry Mills at Nov 13th, 2011 in Funny Sites
Remember way back in the day when golf was exclusively for the rich and privileged? Isn’t that hilarious? I know more guys who make $25 grand a year who play golf now than I ever knew of rich folks in private clubs. I’m not sure when the transition happened and when the average Joe took over the game from the snobby rich, but I’m happy that it happened. I’ve been a devoted golfer for years, and I’m finally glad to have people to play with! I’m also glad that dress codes aren’t so important anymore, because I love to wear my funny golf t-shirts.
The first, and probably my favorite, of my funny golf t-shirts is my “Golf Hero” shirt done in the style of the “Guitar Hero” logo. “Guitar Hero” is super popular, and I must say that I’m pretty good at it. Not nearly as good as I am at golf, though. When I wear my “Golf Hero” shirt to the course, people take notice and dig it a lot. I’ve had so many people ask me where I got it, but I’m not telling. I’m not trying to start a trend!