He who laughs, lasts.

It is better to keep your mouth shut, and look like a fool, than to open your mouth, and remove all doubt.

Today is tomorrow’s yesterday. If you are longing for the ‘good old days’, you’re there pal.

Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

At the end of your rope? Tie and knot and SWING!

This is as bad as it can get, but don’t bet on it.

A halo has to fall only a few inches to become a noose. - Farmers Almanac

The cigarette does the smoking, you’re just the sucker.

Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level.