Since I launched my cartoon business a decade ago, many have asked me how to get into cartooning, or some similar artistic endeavor, especially if, like me, art is not their strongest skill. Before I entered “the trade”, I too, was curious about how a number seemed to “sneak in” these so called “glamour-fields” and many were no better artists than me, and I am no Picasso.

Yves St. Laurent, also not an artist, never drew one of his designs and was the only major designer not to do so, yet remains a household word even after retirement. Walt Disney was a fair artist but knew others were better so farmed that out. Disney was also so broke when he conceived his Magic Kingdom idea, he couldn’t even afford art supplies, but he could afford paper clips and “molded Mickey, Donald, Goofy and the gang out of them.

Truman Cowpoke is the name and cow moooder mysteries is my game. I write about the life of cows, violence, and yes, even bovine death. Words cannot express the horror I feel, as a mystery writer of true cow crime while researching the death and destruction that can occur in “greener pastures”. Of course there are no cowincidences and anyone who says there are may might be bull and udder nonesense.

If I wished, I could create language describing the moohem and destruction of this beast, and do no justice. Even the late great author of “Being There” and “Painted Bird”, Jersey Cowzinsky or pop diva Bovinna, who sang and performed Mooterial Girl so beautifully, could feel my emotions regarding violence in the bovine cowmunnity. I don’t even think The Boss, Bruce Holstein could (even though he was “BORN IN THE USDA”) But cows are just cows, nothing more, except for their dark side. Not a lot of justice in such cowmmunities; unlike, say Bambi and other artistic animals. The Deer Artist, oh starry starry night, Venison Van Doe, may have stroked it with a brush, but never ever the cow, oh so isolated, with no talents rather than anything you can see that is pasteurized.

His mind sees things differently than most of us, to our amazement and amusement.  

Here are some of his gems:

1 - I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists — They don’t expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can’t fall pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
 
You can even wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because the first one was just too icky.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.

New shoes don’t cut, blister or mangle your feet.

Same mood all the time!

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about computers.

Have you tried to express your mood or feelings online? Sometimes it is easier using a smiley or emoticon. With these small icons you can convey new meaning to your forum posts, emails and website content.

A smiley is a great way to make both you, and the person who you are sending the smiley to, feel happy. It is hard to look at a goofy graphic and not feel that tug at the corner of your lips because you just want to smile when you see one!

There are times when words just wont do. A smiley or computer graphic can be the best solution to letting someone know how you feel. Sending hearts or a teddy bear hug graphic is a sure way to let your crush know youre interested.

Tattoos are a never-ending topic of conversation. Here are 10 incredible and surprising quotations from world famous people about this fascinating subject.

From Angelina Jolie: “I dropped my pants in a tattoo parlor in Amsterdam. I woke up in a waterbed with this funky-looking dragon with a blue tongue on my hip. I realized I made a mistake, so a few months later I got a cross to cover it. When my pants hang low, it looks like I’m wearing a dagger!”

Anna Nicole Smith: “I got my first tattoo, a Playboy Bunny, because I was young, dumb and drunk!”

“White folks are not going to come see a bunch of guys with tattoos, with cornrows. I’m sorry, but anyone who thinks different, they’re stupid!” Charles Barkley

“Sometimes I bust out and do things permanentlike tattoos and marriage” Drew Barrymore

“For someone who likes tattoos, the most precious thing is bare skin” Cher

Newspaper or Internet cartoons might save your life or build your immune system at least, that is the thinking of many progressive doctors and psychologists.

Dr. Bernie Siegel is but one, but there are so many others whose recommendation is to surround oneself with humor, whether it be cartoons, videos, magazines, or whatever else is available at the moment. Cartoons are usually readily available, especially on the Internet or newspapers. A funny cartoon can release endorphins immediately; the type of immune system-friendly ones that can, allegedly not only make you live longer, but healthier. In my own life, common sense tells me that if I was unable to utilize humor, life would be a bit drab. So would my health. I have recovered from some severe illnesses, a few that doctors said “I might not make it”, I think, only because of my sense of humor. I am certain their own potions helped as well, but without laughter and hope, faith can fade and fade fast.