Christmas is getting way too stuffy at my house. What I mean by that, is that my extended family thinks that is reflects their personal wealth and station in the world if they come to my house for Christmas dinner in their Sunday best. This isn’t church, though. It’s just a house and we’re trying to enjoy each other’s company here, and no one here cares how much money anyone else makes. I had an uncle actually show up for dinner in an Armani suit. No joke. I’m going to put things in perspective this year with some funny Christmas t-shirts.

The plan is to buy a whole bunch of funny Christmas t-shirts for everyone who we expect to come over for Christmas Day dinner. We’re going to wrap them as presents and stack them next to the front door with everyone’s name on them. As they come in, they get their gift immediately. They open it, and then they have a quick laugh at whatever ridiculous shirt I have picked out for them. Then the hammer falls, and I tell them that this year you have to go to the bedroom or bathroom and put it on. No questions asked.

I already know that Aunt Cathy is going to give me problems. She’s going to be wearing some giant dress with shoulder pads straight out of the 80’s. She’s going to complain that she doesn’t have any pants to wear. When I tell her that she can put it on over her dress, she’ll complain that the shirt will be too tight. When I tell her I ordered it two sizes bigger, she’ll just complain. That’s what she does, and no funny Christmas t-shirts can stop it.

Most of my visiting family will laugh it off and put the shirts on in a good humor. There will only be one or two who put up a real fuss that may turn into a bona fide fight. Once I remind them that they are guests in my house and will wear the stupid funny Christmas t-shirts or go home, they will most likely comply. I hope it won’t come to me drawing any lines in the sand, but I’m prepared to make a stand.

This sounds completely crazy, I understand. To risk the good relations I have with my extended family over something like wearing funny Christmas t-shirts for dinner is a bit extreme. To me, though, the relations aren’t really that great. There’s something wrong with the way we view each other in my family if they think that we have to dress in expensive clothes just to be around each other. I want to hold up a mirror to their collective faces, and I hope they’ll flinch at the ugliness they see there.

You should check out funny Christmas t-shirts at funny Christmas t-shirts for information on this new process.